i feel very weird..... is it jus me being nice or am i really being undermimed and stepped over my head? i felt that i could have learnt my lesson from the past...from the et, from the e-ram...everything i tot i knew how to do;what to do now seems so distant. what does it mean to really be in control? why cant i just get a stance and prove it?...why must things happen before people react? why cant anybody listen to me and let me finish before you all blow your top and be the incredible sulk (not hulk) this makes me feel like i'm very incompetent like i'm very useless...its the feeling i hate the most...i duno why but this blog seems like a grief airing place DAM!

ok enough said...as the saying in my toilet goes " i have learnt that love, not time heals all wounds"and " i have learnt that life is tough but i am tougher!"

tmr i will be running in the AHM! ahaha mayb after taht i'll pay a visit to the singapore flyer since i have not been on it before. Bring Xuan along and go into the clouds:) din really sleep yest nite cos i was kinda alert and kept thinking that there was a turnout duno why...the leg forces makes ur brain a little addled :P

hopefiully i can blog more and more since i have more time to use the computers at home now! :) so far i've been great save some occasions and instances where i felt so emotional and unhappy but yeah i'll get over it..i just learnt that waiting and wondering is the worst thing i'd ever do in my whole life... i waited and wondered at a place where everybody were in pairs ahaha and i was only with rayson lee from WC. felt so miserable and yeah but i'll get over it...suddenly the sky got alot more darker..must be my dark side playing a prank! : P ok i'll go check the singapore flyer now :)

its been a long day since my last log...last time i was a nameless one, now my position is even lower that my previous position...duno why decided to blog today... i feel kinda emo today since morning, my buddy noes it but i cant put my finger on it...its like i haven been emo for a v long time! haha ok 10 days of staying in the jungle was abit damaging to my brains! but i was ultra high today... cos i could finally meet my dearest in 10 days... i mean even when i saw her for jus 30 secs, i felt like my world was complete... so happy
going away has taught me many things...i felt that alota things i have to cherish, i have to take as a priviledge not an entitlement...i have burnt marks, bruises and thorns out of my flesh but its all worth it for all my loved ones, i keep them safe! :)
basically i cant realli sleep today so i decided to blog...watchin vids at the same time..actually i gott a reflect. its not that i'm fearless...i'm shit scared..... who wont be. i feel like i'm pratically gift wrapping the present and giving it away...but i wont wana be a dictator, but more of a director.but i feel common sense has to prevail somewhere in time that sometimes its just not right to be rightfully wrong.i'm timid and i'm scared and now i'm jus hiding in my shell...i'm a cheong swa king but so wad? the world dun care..i mus learn how to come out of my shell first before i can show who i really am! it will take a while i suppose but soon enough soon enough!
well i learnt that my bed is the most precious thing at night cos its queen sized and its shiok! tonight i will get to enjoy! tonight i will be shiok! jus sleep and dun mull too much.only time will tell....only we will last! :)

16th Apr 2008

i'm back i'm back.....

i cannot express how happy i am with both feet on mainland..

for the uneducated, i was "overseas" for an "adventure camp"

haha shant say too much in case i get shot at

i am shagged. no seriously, shagged

its a fun yet tormenting place but i'm glad i'm out :)

thank God i'm still in 1 piece

thank God my loved ones are all still safe:)

blessed be Your name

26th Mar 2008

well its down to the remaining 17 days to my last glimspes of freedom...been spending everyday as its my last :) but i have yet to run or go train my horrible looking and oddly pouching body....ok details are pretty accurate.

i caught vantage point yesterday..those of u who havent watched it...i am strongly recommending the show..haha its a very unique and special action and triller show and i'm sure everybody would definately like it :)

i spent one whole day today happy... i think i need to change my philosophy...its right to be angry at the right time...or people will climb all over ur head and go overboard.......and u'd still hav to apologise..what is the world becoming to ? thanks i'm a walking advert for fancl again

20th Mar 2008

the final farewell, at least for now :(


today is the last last day i'd work in sch :( i wanted to end earlier to rest and really hope my health comes back instead of all the headaches and slight fevers :(


today started off very nicely i did my usual routine of shouting " MORNING" to Ariana :) haha the kids dun really noe its my last day so i din get many goodbyes hehe


the teaching staff brought me out to pasta mania for lunch today. very nice of them to do so and they gave me presents!!! :)

above are some photos i'm jus lazy to arrange them :)

19th Mar 2008

today is my last 2nd day in sch : ) its
really been a fun experience here and i"m kinda unwanting to leave

all the

--> Playing with the trolleys
--> laughing at all the funny ppl in the office
--> trung and ariana at the front desk
--> typing stuff
--> moving stuff
--> arranging stuff
--> lookin at the kids
--> talkin to some of the kids
--> listening to them sawing away at their instruments
--> videoing
--> tapping my access card
--> sticking " Please flush " at toilet walls
--> sawing bamboo poles
--> looking at people's table doodles :P
--> talkin to the teachers and staffs
--> listening to the "hotline"
--> reliefing PE lessons :D
--> saying HI to the kids
--> PK's Softtoys
--> shouting "MORNING" to Ariana
--> the fax machines and printing stuff
--> uncle william and his wonderfulll comfort food:D
--> all the coporate staff people who are so caring and warm to me :D
--> all the lunches i had in sch
--> all the lunches i had OUTSIDE sch
--> all the computer stuff
--> pasting stuff with blutack
--> drinking coffee or milo thats not mine
--> changing the water drinking machine
--> cutting paper
--> making the whiteboards

sigh so many stuff i'd never forget haha soon i'd go back i suppose anyway today the coporate staff brought me out for lunch at tis chicken rice stall along katong...first and last time i'm having lunch with them :( so sad right? and the biggest irony is that i realise all the glorious food in katong only on my second last day at work:( thats even sadder :( anyways
PK and Stella and Georgette gave me a goodie bag of food:) fav!! haha chocs and gummies and cookies thanks so much!! haha okok tmr's the last day... the kids dunt noe yet...hope everything goes well hehe

okok i noe its long since i last typed something haha work was v busying and i am usually beat by the time i reach home and i sleep at 9 so i dun usually use the com...hehe but today's special cos i took a off day to rest and recharge...i'm still tired tho...working is so fun only when u have no work to do! Hahahaha

today i made more chocolate cornflakes! i made them with xuan :D:D so they're prety much sweeter and more delicious to me! haha but they were made for xuan's tuition kids cos they said the ones the I ( super emphasis ) made were super nice..i enjoy bakery! so mayb my pay will be invested in a oven besides the Bass i wana buy..

i would be terminating my contract on the 20th of mar... mayb all the long travelling hours and all the lack of sleep has constituted to my declining health cos i usually have huge migranes and stuff in the middle of the day when i'm workin...haha work stress ? mayb not....workin there is super fun and relaxing ! ahaha i jus need to be slightly more efficient i think! aahah i cant wait to sleep for 3 days and wake up refresheD!! i need the rest...i really do! hahaha

i would be goin bac to kaixuan for training!....cos they're selecting the team for the nex torney, i dun wana take part in that torney cos its for people who worked hard and were always there for the training...they're goin thru a rough patch and i jus wana go train with them, support them and well, commit myself again....but i dun wana look as tho i go back jus to get selected for the torney, or that i go bac jus for playing in the torney......kinda regret that i disappeared without a trace....mayb if i stayed on and helped out educate the hirachey mayb less of such stuff hav happened...the club is made up of the players and not only the coach...i think dade has done a terrific job there, but seniors like me have failed to carry on the tradition, WE have failed KX....not dade....i feel very remoursful, yet i cannot turn back time...so mayb now when he is educating the nex generation of xiaodes, i will commit and help out to bring in the family mentality again, the KX spirit we used to share again...