31 dec 2007
" The first final lookback "

2007 has really been a surprise for me culturally , physically and spiritually

i had a new family , they were called 06s05, a place where misfits fitted in perfectly like a jigsaw ( i'm the only misfit actualy, i am everywhere i go ) and school was the biggest challenge esp the Alevels.the parting letters i gave to my classmates were the ones that i'll keep inside my memory forever.....thanks for all those mindless fun :) i kinda shy dun wana say too many thankyou speaches to ppl lah..i'm a MAN! :P but my thank you speaches are inside the small popiah papers i gave u all :)

God has certainly been merciful in 2007, mind u He was always merciful....2007 marked a terribly painful ordeal and trial apart from the Alevel saga. i sinned greatly like nobody would ever imagine in their wildest dreams and became a marked man...yet He loved me, and forgave me...all the countless times i spent at the side of the pillar hiding pouring out my heart to him...my only testimony is ; He heard, He cared , He provided. Thank you God. this year marked a year of spiritual growth in my as i experience a roller coaster of a relationship with God and yet still having God love me to the core by always providing a way when there seems to be a dead end. i have let him down repeatedly and he must be as hurt as a father whose son repeatedly runs foul of the law deliberately. yet he embraces me every time i run back to him fully aware that i will run foul of his law again. this year to come i will be obedient and pleasing in Gods eyes abit more and really GROW UP!

as a son i think i have failed too. communicating with parents were never my forte. although i'm making a point to talk to my parents now, it jus seems weird telling parents ur problems, as though they wont understand u..but i realise that they DO understand u....i'm slowly getting round this prob i guess, so its not really a prob

worse still this year i haven been a good bf either...the harder i try to become a good bf i realise that i'm actually becoming more crap than "clap"...i have really failed Xuan. no point trying to tel me i'm good...in trying i have tried too hard and in loving i have been like an over-zealous hound dog...i have enough..beeing good is no longer enough...i'll be the best bf EVER and be a rational and logical one...not like the crackhead i use to be..all is not bleak..when i open my eyes tomorrow...i will wake up knowing that the love of the Lord changes me...He first loved me and He gave me love in the form of Xuan and i am largely greatful :) i cannot wait to sleep

i am actually trying to bring friends to know Christ..the one that i noe and the one that makes me smile 24-7 even when i'm getting sh*t from people....i want to go " this is HE , the one that is my source of laughing even in death for he will raise me! :) " i want to bring people to noe God especially those who are upset, for nobody can comfort u as much as God can.so i really hope the people will pray for my like i asked to and let me start bringing people to know him.. to know the true source of happyness...i am a great testimony to how much smiles God can bring to ur life....i dont smile for no reason and i am a very bad tempered and impatient guy...but nobody has ever seen me as such and i really give praise to God for mellowing me down so much :)

i just wan people to pray for those we are trying to reach out to...this is not a recruitment drive , but a reconciliation of the people and our father from heaven. i cant wait for the new year.... I NEED A JOB