i've always tried..tried real hard to make it right but den, it always falls on the wrong side... they jus dont understand that they have to treasure me before i am gone.. they jus dont believe that one day i'd jus pack up and go... why is the host always made to be 2nd class citizens while the foreigners get all the royal treatment even better den the locals...why is it so unfair? i've only got 2 options, try harder or game over... i'll try and i'll try but one day i'd jus die... i cant go ono forever like that.. i give u some chocolates but i also want some back in return.... i want me...

i feel very weird..... is it jus me being nice or am i really being undermimed and stepped over my head? i felt that i could have learnt my lesson from the past...from the et, from the e-ram...everything i tot i knew how to do;what to do now seems so distant. what does it mean to really be in control? why cant i just get a stance and prove it?...why must things happen before people react? why cant anybody listen to me and let me finish before you all blow your top and be the incredible sulk (not hulk) this makes me feel like i'm very incompetent like i'm very useless...its the feeling i hate the most...i duno why but this blog seems like a grief airing place DAM!

ok enough said...as the saying in my toilet goes " i have learnt that love, not time heals all wounds"and " i have learnt that life is tough but i am tougher!"

tmr i will be running in the AHM! ahaha mayb after taht i'll pay a visit to the singapore flyer since i have not been on it before. Bring Xuan along and go into the clouds:) din really sleep yest nite cos i was kinda alert and kept thinking that there was a turnout duno why...the leg forces makes ur brain a little addled :P

hopefiully i can blog more and more since i have more time to use the computers at home now! :) so far i've been great save some occasions and instances where i felt so emotional and unhappy but yeah i'll get over it..i just learnt that waiting and wondering is the worst thing i'd ever do in my whole life... i waited and wondered at a place where everybody were in pairs ahaha and i was only with rayson lee from WC. felt so miserable and yeah but i'll get over it...suddenly the sky got alot more darker..must be my dark side playing a prank! : P ok i'll go check the singapore flyer now :)

its been a long day since my last log...last time i was a nameless one, now my position is even lower that my previous position...duno why decided to blog today... i feel kinda emo today since morning, my buddy noes it but i cant put my finger on it...its like i haven been emo for a v long time! haha ok 10 days of staying in the jungle was abit damaging to my brains! but i was ultra high today... cos i could finally meet my dearest in 10 days... i mean even when i saw her for jus 30 secs, i felt like my world was complete... so happy
going away has taught me many things...i felt that alota things i have to cherish, i have to take as a priviledge not an entitlement...i have burnt marks, bruises and thorns out of my flesh but its all worth it for all my loved ones, i keep them safe! :)
basically i cant realli sleep today so i decided to blog...watchin vids at the same time..actually i gott a reflect. its not that i'm fearless...i'm shit scared..... who wont be. i feel like i'm pratically gift wrapping the present and giving it away...but i wont wana be a dictator, but more of a director.but i feel common sense has to prevail somewhere in time that sometimes its just not right to be rightfully wrong.i'm timid and i'm scared and now i'm jus hiding in my shell...i'm a cheong swa king but so wad? the world dun care..i mus learn how to come out of my shell first before i can show who i really am! it will take a while i suppose but soon enough soon enough!
well i learnt that my bed is the most precious thing at night cos its queen sized and its shiok! tonight i will get to enjoy! tonight i will be shiok! jus sleep and dun mull too much.only time will tell....only we will last! :)

16th Apr 2008

i'm back i'm back.....

i cannot express how happy i am with both feet on mainland..

for the uneducated, i was "overseas" for an "adventure camp"

haha shant say too much in case i get shot at

i am shagged. no seriously, shagged

its a fun yet tormenting place but i'm glad i'm out :)

thank God i'm still in 1 piece

thank God my loved ones are all still safe:)

blessed be Your name

26th Mar 2008

well its down to the remaining 17 days to my last glimspes of freedom...been spending everyday as its my last :) but i have yet to run or go train my horrible looking and oddly pouching body....ok details are pretty accurate.

i caught vantage point yesterday..those of u who havent watched it...i am strongly recommending the show..haha its a very unique and special action and triller show and i'm sure everybody would definately like it :)

i spent one whole day today happy... i think i need to change my philosophy...its right to be angry at the right time...or people will climb all over ur head and go overboard.......and u'd still hav to apologise..what is the world becoming to ? thanks i'm a walking advert for fancl again

20th Mar 2008

the final farewell, at least for now :(


today is the last last day i'd work in sch :( i wanted to end earlier to rest and really hope my health comes back instead of all the headaches and slight fevers :(


today started off very nicely i did my usual routine of shouting " MORNING" to Ariana :) haha the kids dun really noe its my last day so i din get many goodbyes hehe


the teaching staff brought me out to pasta mania for lunch today. very nice of them to do so and they gave me presents!!! :)

above are some photos i'm jus lazy to arrange them :)

19th Mar 2008

today is my last 2nd day in sch : ) its
really been a fun experience here and i"m kinda unwanting to leave

all the

--> Playing with the trolleys
--> laughing at all the funny ppl in the office
--> trung and ariana at the front desk
--> typing stuff
--> moving stuff
--> arranging stuff
--> lookin at the kids
--> talkin to some of the kids
--> listening to them sawing away at their instruments
--> videoing
--> tapping my access card
--> sticking " Please flush " at toilet walls
--> sawing bamboo poles
--> looking at people's table doodles :P
--> talkin to the teachers and staffs
--> listening to the "hotline"
--> reliefing PE lessons :D
--> saying HI to the kids
--> PK's Softtoys
--> shouting "MORNING" to Ariana
--> the fax machines and printing stuff
--> uncle william and his wonderfulll comfort food:D
--> all the coporate staff people who are so caring and warm to me :D
--> all the lunches i had in sch
--> all the lunches i had OUTSIDE sch
--> all the computer stuff
--> pasting stuff with blutack
--> drinking coffee or milo thats not mine
--> changing the water drinking machine
--> cutting paper
--> making the whiteboards

sigh so many stuff i'd never forget haha soon i'd go back i suppose anyway today the coporate staff brought me out for lunch at tis chicken rice stall along katong...first and last time i'm having lunch with them :( so sad right? and the biggest irony is that i realise all the glorious food in katong only on my second last day at work:( thats even sadder :( anyways
PK and Stella and Georgette gave me a goodie bag of food:) fav!! haha chocs and gummies and cookies thanks so much!! haha okok tmr's the last day... the kids dunt noe yet...hope everything goes well hehe

okok i noe its long since i last typed something haha work was v busying and i am usually beat by the time i reach home and i sleep at 9 so i dun usually use the com...hehe but today's special cos i took a off day to rest and recharge...i'm still tired tho...working is so fun only when u have no work to do! Hahahaha

today i made more chocolate cornflakes! i made them with xuan :D:D so they're prety much sweeter and more delicious to me! haha but they were made for xuan's tuition kids cos they said the ones the I ( super emphasis ) made were super nice..i enjoy bakery! so mayb my pay will be invested in a oven besides the Bass i wana buy..

i would be terminating my contract on the 20th of mar... mayb all the long travelling hours and all the lack of sleep has constituted to my declining health cos i usually have huge migranes and stuff in the middle of the day when i'm workin...haha work stress ? mayb not....workin there is super fun and relaxing ! ahaha i jus need to be slightly more efficient i think! aahah i cant wait to sleep for 3 days and wake up refresheD!! i need the rest...i really do! hahaha

i would be goin bac to kaixuan for training!....cos they're selecting the team for the nex torney, i dun wana take part in that torney cos its for people who worked hard and were always there for the training...they're goin thru a rough patch and i jus wana go train with them, support them and well, commit myself again....but i dun wana look as tho i go back jus to get selected for the torney, or that i go bac jus for playing in the torney......kinda regret that i disappeared without a trace....mayb if i stayed on and helped out educate the hirachey mayb less of such stuff hav happened...the club is made up of the players and not only the coach...i think dade has done a terrific job there, but seniors like me have failed to carry on the tradition, WE have failed KX....not dade....i feel very remoursful, yet i cannot turn back time...so mayb now when he is educating the nex generation of xiaodes, i will commit and help out to bring in the family mentality again, the KX spirit we used to share again...

i always feel so small and unappreaciated and unwanted...mayb its because i'm borne like that, unwanted and unknowned...mayb the depths of the earth will provide me with the questions i dear seek that sometimes prematurity is the best example of immaturity.

in between swears, that all famous line is always forgotten between people...when the going gets tough, people's temper and people themselves get going...AWAY from you lol..

2 months seems like very long for me but i've learnt many things so far...Always comsider before whatever you do and for the goodness of



i try and try, shouldnt it be time its my turn?


mankind, please BE FIRM with my NO! how i've been exploited with my disability to say no is legendary lol no mayb jus normal...
out of a full moon, only 3quarters are contended whereas the other 2 arnt...open communications' the way but everytime people communicate, too strict or straight, people label you a cowell and too hippocritical people label you a hippo...so hard to construct a nice talking conversation without one screwing the other up for pockey know what reason....its terrible for the morale and its worse for the muscle...if not tied by the morally binding contract, i would have not become what i am today, the peacefull transient me. i feel very terrible and my patience is unlike my God-King's whose are of the highest orders...i really fear mine would escape from within my bowels...please live every day as its your last, make decisions you dont regret and never NEVER take anything for granted...especially me ...thanks please grow up

today i have gone mad





I LOVE TO MAKE CHOCOLATES!!!






today Xuan went to m'sia with SH for some kinda camp and wil only be back on sunday...i slept the whole afternoon so now at night i cant sleep...and decided to try some stuff...

JASON'S VERY OWN MILKY CONFLAKES!

First get the chocolate that u want..i chose milk chocolates this time ( semi-sweet chocolate is the best for tis recipie:D)
i bought this at "red man" at sembawang mrt...one bar within 10 bucks, 5sections each bar.




























Next decide the amount of chocolate that would be needed ( this and the following photo shows one section of the 5 sections in a bar of white chocolate )









































next melt the chocolate over a steam system...DO NOT expose the choc or the plate holding the chocolate to a direct flame cos it will start to overcook and not melt and DO NOT let any form of water touch the chocolates












































set the paper cups properly
















































set the cornflakes and nuts nicely in a bowl well mixed
















when the choc melts till its like a fondue, pour it into the bowl with the cornflakes and nuts













mix well until all cornflakes are covered equally with the melted choc













put each into a cup and refrigerate...about 15 mins or longer..can be kept at room temperature without risk of melting.










This is my version of the recipie i picked up from church so its not exactly a "masterchief's" recipie but its good enough :D
for best effects use the semi-sweet chocolate instead cos its really nice:D


DISCLAIMER : this is my own interpretation and haas not been copied or mimiced or replicated from any other writen document.

feel free to try it:D

ok lets use red in the festive chinese new year season! its chu3 today and well andpows have been coming fast and furious so definately i'm not complaining on that part! :D thank God that i have been able to manage thru these 3 days cos i was really afraid that things may not turn out as i really want it to be but thankfully it did :1)
today went with Xuan to catch "ah long pte ltd " a jack neo film...well u noe what u can normally expect from a jack neo film, LOTS of laughter and something that tries to touch ur heart. no spoilers here dun worry...
couples looking to celebrate valentines in a "higher class restaurent" i'd suggest cafe cartell cos the bill normally dosen come to more than 50 for 2...i said NORMALLY hahaha but its rather affordable so do pay a visit and treat ur partner with ur angpows or winnings.hehe
talking bout valentines i'm still clueless nad wondering what i should do...she's so worried bout money if i buy something ex i'll most prob get an earful(tic) haha mayb i'd do the photo album thing...like continue from what she did last year !!! hahaha ok problem solved! can print the photos from william...argue for a discount! hahaha
hope this valentine's day i'll finally get a "X" on my head...i really aspire to have it.what others hav i can only desire better yet its not a matter of quality but the quantity...it gets frustrating alot of times and sometimes gemini takes control of the stars! but i've learnt one thing tho..."crazy not stupid" the catch phrase for this new year..please, don let the fish slip out of the net..

its been 2 weeks and i'm still hooked on "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns ' N Roses..jus listen to slash cos he's the BAND itself...singing can be better tho

been pondering on many issuses lately since i have alota time especially during travelling.the Lack of school make me want to exercise my brain and i think of all those questions that give you a terrible headache trying to think of it like...

1 ) is there an end to the universe? cos if there IS an End there will definately be something behind that end right and if theres NOT an end then how BIG isit?
2 ) when we die we live FOREVER with God, with no end to it....in life we always look forward to the end. happy times or not we're always lookin at the end...unhappy times we look, and say " i hope this ends soon" and happy times we go " oh purlease dunt let it end!!!" but in heaven we will live forever, something that we cannot realli comprehend cos theres no end to it..
3 ) why does lightning travel in zig-zag and if it goes in a straight line would it be faster than this zig-zagged one?

*OUCH* ok my head is hurting already
still loads more questions that i think i should not share here in cyberspace :P

its only when i start workin that i realise...time is really important!!! my dad bought me a few PS3 games that i've yet to play :( cos i rarely have the time to play once i'm home... but workin is kinda fun and cool especially with cool and er interesting collegues and fun stuff :D

i'm fatter now at 72 kg haha

as of 24th jan 2008 jason is still trying to find logic in the illogical and trying to make head out of tail.
"Jason is listening to "welcome to the jungle" on utube" u gotta lovethat song
returned from Wendy's cos it was Rob's farewell party but din really do much anyway hahaha jus played ONE round of majhiong hahah i miss my home
today God has really provided for me...one thing i realise is that people always say that "believe in God and have faith that He will provide"... believing is the simple part..but its the faith part that really matters to God...today i was so at ease that i jus started tearing for no reason...for the sake of peace...jus so awesome. sometimes people pray and dun have faith, they "hope" for something to happen.and when they dun get it they go " see i pray and You din help me at all...THANKS"......woeful example of what is actually to be done...
faith is something that cannot be bought but only can be gained thru trials and tests...like faith in a relationship...building up faith in God is really something that gives me a reason to SMILE! all the time...people ask why am i so happy all the time! haha its not that i'm happy happy but more of i know and have faith that no matter what shi* happens God always make everything better
so my final word is...all ye of little faith go forth and grow in God!!!!! :P
IT WORKED FOR ME! HAHAHA THANK YOU FATHER :D

operation cameleon was a success...at least i think it was
listening to welcome to the jungle...quirky little song that gets u kinda perked up haha
work is super interesting and interesting so far...get alota funny people around...

thurs 24th jan 2008 gathering at wen's house for Rob's farewell party...

chinese new year is coming and i hav not bought any clothes.... mayb i should go out in a pretty pink suit this time round...love the one i saw at imm giant.:D no i'm not gay.

really tired so kinda blogging rubbish at the moment. it gadgets to do tmr :(

22nd Jan 2008

jus finished work...enjoying it i suppose. tomorrow we're making honey water!! oh wells.
working never seems so fun and exciting! mayb its because its the first time i'm workin so yeah i feel totally excited about going to work everyday!

i guess i'd have to take a break soon i guess...poor Xuan everyday nobody pei her so yeah i need to spend some time with my most beloved and yeah take a rest...haha somehow this distance makes the heart grow fonder...i hope:D

i think i'm growing into a man now cos i'm really moody these few days...women hav pms so i think its natural for guys to be like moody and upset or just feel down...haha i feel like a matured man already.. ok kinda random.

facing a few probs still and yeah i hav been praying about it...really brings me closer to God...stil trying to bring friends so people remember me in prayer! only He noes whats instore for me so yeah jus remember me k:D

dun worry i'm not madly happy right now...jus suffering from shock and confusement...cant wait to drink honey water :P

i cant sleep and i just dont get it.
the alter personality is something that is highly bendable yes brittle. it can take heavy stretching once or twice or mayb 15 times but people gotta understand that it never really returns back to the same. its like a drop of water that never dissolves...diluting yet porating and adheasive.
its difficult to move from this point of view because of all the complications of the past and yet it really pains to do so
the window of oppertunity is indeed very short-circuited and re-wired
"wroong wrooong" goes the bell
rathered be expired that pre-pired

15th dec 2008

ok i have been working at School Of The Arts ( SOTA ) for a very long time since the start of the school holidays.. work from 8 to 6 everyday so actually i dun hav time to blog everyday...
its a very fun and challenging job....mine is to videotape their programme and edit and burn into disc and in pm i will be part of school logistics placing signs like " please flush"

its weird when u wake up so early in the morning and no need to go to school..students at sota are.....well....amazing...just so bloddy talented some of them.well its definately a place to go develop ur talents cos i find the teachers super engaging and approachable....as legendary as e teachers from PJC..and the thing is, all teachers there are so power in their own forms of art and during greeting sessions is less of " good morning mr.... or mrs.... but more of dr... and dr....LOL.

great school...pity i was born 6 years too early tho haha i intend to get their school uniform and pe teeshirt, really arty. hahaha

whichever thing can we hav the best of both worlds? its either less flour or more walkings...its like that. the window of oppertunities have to be developed and more lobbed to realise that! please process and remember whatever it is, nobody would want the pelvis of the chicken...and we always choose the lions share.pls....develop it.